The Christmas Ornament

When my oldest daughter was in the third grade, she became a “traitor” in our family. In Alabama there are only two football teams. One is Alabama and the other is Auburn. We were die-hard Alabama fans and my husband, Don, never missed a game. Then out of the blue, our oldest daughter decided that she wanted to to to Auburn University when she graduated from high school. I thought it would hurt my husband, but he never said a word. “It’s just a phase,” he joked, and then teased her, “No child of mine will ever go to that school.”

When Shannon graduated from high school she spent her first year living at home, working and attending the community college. By her Sophomore year, she was ready to transfer to Auburn. We packed up two cars and like thousands of other parents each Fall, tried to hide our anxiety and emotions, as we sent our oldest off to college. Shannon settled into her dorm, met her best friend on 'moving in' day, joined a local Christian fellowship group and last, but not least, bought a season pass to all the football games. That daughter of mine could talk football with the best and seasoned commentators and it simply amazed me. It amazed her father, too, that this former clarinet player in the high school band knew her football so well.

After her graduation she moved to Georgia, a few hours drive away. She and her father continued their mutual love of football. My husband and I had actually never attended a live Auburn football game, but one Fall my daughter arranged to get us tickets and she was going to meet us there. It happened to be the same week my husband had to undergo some serious medical tests. We hadn't yet told our daughters. I was worried and wanted to back out of the trip, but he didn't want to let her down, so we went. The test results came back the following week. It wasn't good. Cancer. Two weeks before Thanksgiving he started Chemotherapy.

Before Christmas that year my husband had ordered a special  Auburn football ornament for Shannon. It was the first in a series. She loved it. She came home every chance she could, now that her Dad was undergoing cancer treatments. It was naturally hard to leave each time and return to her job, knowing how ill her father was.

In March, a small package arrived in the mail. I opened it and there was another Christmas ornament, the second in a series. Had my husband already ordered another one, this early in the year? I put it away in the closet. The Chemo was taking a toll on my husband, but his spirit held strong. When his doctor told us that there was nothing else they could do, I called my oldest daughter to come home.  And I told her about the ornament that had come in the mail. I couldn't hold onto it until Christmas. I truly believed that this was God's way of letting her know that it was okay to let go.  God knew that her father wasn’t going to be there for the next Christmas.

Since then the ornaments have arrived like clockwork each year, each one uniquely designed with her favorite college colors, blue and orange. She has ten now and it is a gift from her father every year, a way of letting her know that he is still with her.

Father's Day

I don't even stop and look at the Father's Day cards at Walmart anymore. When Don was alive I would take my time reading several before making up my mind. Most of the time they were humorous cards, but once in a while I'd pick out a heartfelt card. If I had the chance here's the letter I would write to him on Father's Day.

Dear Sweetheart,

Happy Father's Day! I don't know if I ever told you what a terrific Dad you were. I didn't tell you enough what it meant to have a husband who not only loved me, but loved his kids unconditionally. No wonder they went to you first about everything! Remember that tatoo that Carrie got and didn't want me to know about it? I found out after the fact, when you already knew. Remember how you and Shannon would talk college football for hours and how you always called her on the phone after Auburn played? That's something she won't forget. Nor will she forget the time you and Jeff drove to Auburn late at night to pick her up because her grandmother was in the hospital and we didn't expect her to make it through the night. You didn't want her to drive home alone during such an emotional time.

And Carrie won't forget the times you took off from work to be a chaperone on a boring band trip to Birmingham or that time you checked her out of school to watch your beloved Kentucky Wildcats play basketball at Tuscaloosa. Or going to Nashville to see the Tennessee Titans play. You knew that I was not a big sports fan, but your daughters never let you down.

And neither one of them will forget the countless Friday nights you took off from work so you could attend the football games and watch them play in the marching band. As a father, you were definitely hands-on and always put your family first.

I remember when we lived in Germany, right after Shannon was born. We lived in a one-bedroom basement apartment in Nierstein, that little German village within walking distance of the Rhine River. With only one car, it meant I spent long days home alone with a newborn baby while you went to work. I was anxious for you to come home because I was nervous about being a new Mom. We had no washer or dryer. During the week I would wash diapers in the bathtub, but on the weekends you took the dirty laundry to the laundromat on post and brought the clean clothes home, all neatly folded.

While growing up the girls always knew they could come to you. I guess I was the disciplinarian and you were the laid-back parent. I don't recall you ever spanking the kids.

I know that you would be proud of the girls now. I know you loved your son-in-law. Your youngest daughter married a good man. I know that your heart would break for Shannon, for what she's been through the past year, but you would stand there and protect her every step of the way. And you would just fall in love with your grandchildren. "Teka" was just learning how to crawl when you left us and you wouldn't believe that she is going on five and starting Kindergarten! She is the spitting image of her mother. You would just love "little Allie" and get such a kick out of her. She has one unique personality and has practically potty-trained herself. Talk about a strong will! And then there's Lucas, your grandson. He is so easy-going and what gorgeous eyes and a beautiful smile he has. I could see you now on the living room floor playing with all of them, just like the girls used to climb all over you when they were little.

Don, it hasn't been easy on the girls since you've gone, but God's comfort and peace have helped. Thoughts of you are always on their minds and in their hearts. They miss you so!

With Love,
Anita